In the beginning, man slept on the cold, hard ground, and we wanted more. We moved on to straw, leaves, and feathers, and we wanted more. We invented the mattress, filled it with innersprings and memory foam, supported it with box springs, frames, and foundations, and we wanted more. We asked, “Have you experienced zero gravity?” with our adjustable bases, yet we still wanted more. Today, we dare to ask a bold new question: “Have you experienced anti-gravity?”
Introducing the latest revolution in sleep innovation, the SEMPER-Air®Deluxe LeviBase™. Using our exclusively patented, cutting-edge MagniFloat™ technology, we’re bringing you sleep that will sweep you off your feet…literally. And all with a little thing we like to call Science™.
It’d likely be no shock for you to see a spinning top suspended in air through toying with magnetic fields. You’ve likely performed such experiments yourself at home or in school. We’ve simply amplified that technology to its logical conclusion: allowing you to sleep suspended in air, cradled by the gods.
Here’s how it works: Our Sleep Specialists install our sleek 12” MagniFloat™Slab in the room of your choice, rendered inert until activated, available in the attractive coating of your choice: slate, stainless steel, white, black, or beige. On this foundation, we’ll place a 3” LeviBase™ supportive layer, constructed of hundreds of tiny magnetic marbles, capable of adapting to your every unique need and whim. On this we place your mattress and plug the base in. And that’s it. No confusing manuals. No jumble of cables. Just a bed and your wireless remote, the MagniFloat™Wand.
What can the Wand do? What CAN’T it do? By powering on your SEMPER-Air®Deluxe LeviBase™, you initiate your MagniFloat™ reverse magnetic polarity and take flight. And the sky is the limit. Use your Wand to adjust how high your mattress floats off the ground (up to 4 additional feet). Is your partner afraid of heights? Use the LeviBase™Hug belt to strap yourselves in and tilt the bed on their side so they’re closer to the ground. Are you a hot sleeper? Say goodbye to awkward ceiling fans! Instead, engage our LeviBase™CoolSpin to rotate your mattress at your preferred speed (up to 10mph) to get the comfort you need, when you need it. Want to be rocked to sleep like a cradle? Want to sit upright to watch television? Dropped a book on the ground, but can’t reach it? Just feel like spinning and flipping around all crazy? The options are endless. Your bed is your hands.
But why? Why not just sleep on a traditional box spring, or utilize our popular adjustable bases for a comparable zero gravity benefit? Simply put, Science™! A recent study conducted by NASA concluded that out of 1700 people surveyed, astronauts sleep better than any other profession. It’s true. Just review the chart below. We promise. Now we’re finally catching on to what space has known for millennia: There’s just no support like no gravity.
Years from now, we may look back quaintly on a time when we slept anchored to the floor. The future will undoubtedly hold even greater advances in anti-gravity sleep technology. For now, SEMPER-Air®Deluxe LeviBase™ is just one small bed for man, one giant sleep for mankind.
(DISCLAIMER: Sleep Outfitters does not recommend the use of any electronic devices or metal near this foundation, including the following: laptops, cell phones, watches, dog collars, jewelry, silverware. Please keep all body parts inside the bed at all times. All restraint systems must be positioned and fastened properly. Consumers who have a history of heart, neck, or back trouble, high blood pressure, had recent surgery, or are pregnant are discouraged from sleeping on this frame. Sleep Outfitters is not responsible if the foundation begins to uncontrollably spin without warning.)
(Oh, and have a happy April Fool’s Day!)